<<Note: This page was first posted about a week before I got married...it's still here on unspoken request of my mother-in-law, who's actually a pretty nice lady.>>

Don't misunderstand me. I have NO regrets over the woman who is marrying me, and she assures me that the feeling is MORE than mutual (no accounting for taste, eh..?), but it's STILL a HUGE step to take. I mean, I still watch Saturday morning cartoons and occasionally play with action figures (if I'm REALLY bored...) and, in less than a week, I'm gonna be someone's HUSBAND...and, eventually...*gasp*...a FATHER!

(Insert "Psycho" theme here)

See what I mean? I honestly don't know if I'm truly ready...but, dammit, when are ANY of us truly ready for ANYTHING? I mean, all I know for certain is that whenever I start to worry or get TOO stressed, I look at her...her face, her eyes, the color of her hair, the way her smile lights up the room...and I know I'm making the right decision. I love her. End of subject.

Dammit...I'm getting all mushy now...sorry. I'm in love, I can't help it.

I met Tia back around September 1994 at Grossmont Community College, a place for people with big dreams and small bank accounts. I'd been going there for a couple of years (minus the year I spent at an ROP Commercial Art/Desktop Publishing class), and was in a deep funk over the studied indifference I was receiving from a young woman I liked. My friend Renee' tried hooking me up with her friend, Ruby (one of the SWEETEST people ever to walk the Earth), but it was obvious nothing was clicking; nevertheless, we became close friends. Well, one day while us and a few others were hanging out on the campus lawn talking about "Animaniacs", Ruby suddenly squealed with joy and bolted off. We all sorta looked at each other and shrugged; we were slacker Goths, we were used to odd behaviour.

A moment later, she returned, dragging an obviously annoyed and somewhat frightened young woman behind her. She was a little taller than Ruby, and kind of severe in appearance: her hair was pulled back in a tight braid, her t-shirt was neatly tucked into her jeans, and she was looking at us with an odd mixture of fear and curiosity though a rather large pair of glasses. Ruby introduced her as her best friend, Tia, one of the biggest "Animaniacs" fanatics in Southern California ('s true...Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, and Tress McNeil, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot themselves, declared her the "Lost Warner Sib" at a signing once...I know it was a joke, but Tia is STILL elated over it). To prove her point, she badgered Tia into a performance of "Yakko's World"...all of us had out jaws in our laps at that one. She made some small talk ..okay, Ruby did all the talking and Tia just sorta nodded in agreement.

What apparently everyone but her and I noticed, however, was that Tia and I never took our eyes off one another. Tia later confessed that she had NO clue what to make of me...she grew up in Descanso (a backwater "town" in the hills where the men are men and the livestock are nervous...) surrounded by burly jocks and Marine wanna-be's, and there I was, with my long curly-ish hair, full "Ming the Merciless" goatee, lanky frame, and black trenchcoat, acting like a big goofy kid (imagine Shaggy from "Scooby-Doo" by way of Metallica...)...she later told me that the thought that kept going through her head was, "What on Earth is THAT?"

Of course, what was going through MY head was, "Hmmm....interesting. Keep an eye on her. Nice ass."

I'm a guy. You were expecting poetry?

The next day, me and a few of the rowdier of our bunch were in the Student Center (part arcade, part cafeteria, all noisy...the social hub of GC), when who did I notice huddling a few tables away trying to look inconspicuous but Tia, the Animaniacs Goddess! I called her over a couple of times; when she didn't respond, I went over and sat at her table and said "Hi!" I was so clueless, I didn't even realize that she was trying half-heartedly to hide from us...and, in due course, Tia's table was soon overflowing with noisy art/drama/pseudo-Goths, all bustling for her attention (a new audience! Hoo-boy!). She looked decidedly uncomfortable at first, but se lightened up so that when she excused herself for class, she only looked SOMEWHAT uncomfortable. What I didn't notice, due to the crowded table, was how she kept a defined space margin around her at all times...except with me. She stayed in constant physical contact with me in one way or another...which, it turned out, was her intention all along.

She started hanging out with us on a more-or-less permanent basis...always seeming withdrawn and quiet until I showed up, whereupon she'd always sit over near me, maintaining her discreet physical contact with me at all times and gradually becoming more animated. Go fig...I was the only one at the table who DIDN'T notice it...big dummy that I am, I was still mooning over Tara at the time. Still, there was something about Tia...

SHe and I quickly became close friends, especially after I learned she was living in Santee with her sister. I started driving her home after class and hanging out at her place, sometimes until 2 or 3 in the morning, just talking about books, movies, stories we were working on...we talked for HOURS, then I'd go home, go to school the next day, meet up with her, take her home and the cycle would repeat. And yet I was STILL hung up on Tara...apparently, the others at school were wondering exactly how far up my ass my head WAS.

Tia was a telecom major, and her class involved a lot of checking out video cameras and filming stuff. One afternoon, she brought the camera to the Student Center and filmed us...of course, the camera stayed on me for a large chunk of the time, and I hammed it up GOOD. Needless to say, I was a little distress when I found out she'd sent a copy of it to her parents in Colorado...and they both took one look at the video and instantly knew that the impossible had happened: their little tomboy had found her first crush.

The second major video incident, however, was when I first started thinking of her as anything more than a friend. She was filming a music video for Joe Diffy's "Third Rock from the Sun" (uggh...country...something Tia adn I STILL bicker about...), and had recruited a number of us for bit parts. I played boyfriend with the liquor craving...a part she'd carefully picked for me, becasue I'd be playing HER boyfriend. When I showed up for filming, she was in her "costume", basically a nicer shirt with her hair down and her glasses off. I was FLOORED. She was pretty! I feel kinda bad...it took seeing her out of her normal tomboyish attire before I saw her as a potential girlfriend.

From that point on, my attitude toward her changed...not necessarily for the better. I STILL wanted Tara, and I also felt guilty over being more attracted to Ruby's best friend than to her. There was no denying how I was starting to feel about Tia, though...IO got so nervous around her, I'd get explosive diahrrea (bet you wanted to know THAT, huh?). I mean, I was genuinely scared...the couple of times I'd let any girls know I was interested in them previously, they'd reacted as if their pet parrot had suddenly started swearing in Yiddish...sort of mild amusement tinged with disgust (case in point...Tara). I honestly don't remember who I talked to at that point...but they asked me who I thought I'd be happier pursuing, Tara, who already wasn't interested in me, or Tia, who, to MY observations, hadn't shown an opinion yea or nay (damn...how far did I have my head up my ass..?). Well, to paraphrase Mae West, "When chosing between two evils, always go for the one you haven't tried yet..." so I asked Tia out on a date.

We went and saw "Star Trek: Generations", and she cowered in her seat as far from me as possible...being with me in a crowd was one thing, but being with me alone was something completely different, I guess. Despite this, we went out some more...Tuesday became sort of our movie night, and, as always, I'd take her home and we'd yack it up for all hours of the night.

Well, around December, I finally asked her if she wanted to be more than movie buddies. ANd you know what?

She said no.

I went home, crushed...and she stayed behind, beating herself up over saying that. It wasn't me she was scared of, she told me, it was the fact that she was in a situation she knew NOTHING about. SHe STILL swears, to this very day, that she had NEVER felt ANYTHING romantic about ANYONE before me. I don't buy it, of course...one look at her FILES of pix and memorabilia devoted to Val Kilmer would make anyone suspicious.She called me back a day or so later and told me she'd consider it, though...which made me even MORE confused.

Well, a week or so later, we went to a Christmas party at a friend of a friend's house. Me, my sister AMy, and my best friend Jim were the only people there she knew very well, so we pretty much clung to each other...literally as the night wore on. She'd written in her Christmas card to me that it was okay for me to tell them about us...I asked her, "Tell them WHAT about us?"

Nevertheless, after the party she and I piled into the She-Hulk (my late, beloved '73 Impala...*sigh*) and headed for home. On the way, we took a "radio tarot" (something from a series by Tom Deitz...11 songs taken off the radio and placed in a Celtic cross pattern. I may post how to do it some time...stay tuned!) to pass the time. I don't remember all of the songs, but the general gist of the reading was that Tia and I needed to get a clue and start seeing each other romantically...at least that was how we interpreted it.

We parked at her apartment and talked for a bit, then, shyly and discreetly, Tia leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and told me she wanted to be my girlfriend. WHereupon I smiled and said "OK"...then pulled her in for a much more "grown-up" kiss. I expected her to slap me...to my surprise, the kiss lasted about 10 minutes before she broke off giggling.

The next kiss was much longer...and so was the one after that...

Jiminy-friggin'-christmas...look how long this page is! Sorry about that...if you're actually down here, you must have a lot of free time. Anyways, I'll just close by saying...that's how it all started, and now, I'm gonna be marrying her in a little over a week. Sometimes...life is pretty damn good.

Now...back to my pacing...